Q. I was invited to my friends engagement party and I know I'll probably be going to the wedding shower, bachelorette party and wedding too. If I bring a gift to every gathering I'm afraid I'll go broke. Do I have to bring a gift to the engagement party?

Although it is becoming more common for engagement party guests to bring at least a small gift , just as in the past, engagement gifts today are not obligatory. There will no doubt be many other celebrations such as the wedding shower or even the wedding itself to bring gifts and you may choose to save your money for a bigger gift at that point. But remember that a small gift would be a thoughtful gesture.

Call the party host. Gift instructions are not included on the invitation but they may be passed on to the host. Some couples will specifically (through the host) ask not to bring any gifts.

Ultimately, whether you choose to bring a gift or not may depend on local custom, your relationship to the couple, and your budget. Often family and close friends will bring a gift.

If you choose to bring a gift, opt for a simple gift.

• bottle of champagne or wine
• high end chocolates
• gift certificates
• wine glasses
• flowers